October 25, 2012 · 8:23 pm

Creating Inner Space

For sure, all of us have experienced a crisis of some magnitude in our lives.  For each of us, the quality and dimension of that magnitude may feel very different even though the crisis appears outwardly to be defined by the same parameters.  We know that stress is correlated with the way we react to the crisis, not necessarily with some inherent qualities that exist in the crisis itself.  Witness all the self help advice about how to deal with stress.   It’s the “deal with” aspect that intrigues me.

Suppose it’s not actually about meeting out punishment or reacting in some other way with the expectation of changing the shape or qualities of the stressful experience.  Perhaps a more appropriate response would have to do with how we are being with what is happening.  The energy we bring to this event or issue might be less about fighting against it or struggling to make it different and more about simply being with what it is.  I’m reminded of how it is to take in a beautiful sunset or to witness a person in an act of compassion.  Such moments require enlisting the observer in us.

In order to be the observer, there has to be space between you and the object/event observed.  So, go back to what it is like to experience a crisis or to be in a very stressful situation.  Often the observer in us is lost at that point.  We give ourselves over to the fight or flight mode of being or else we freeze in a moment of overwhelm or shock.  Difficult then to imagine that we might be able to step back and take on the view of the observer.

At those times, we assume that in a calmer, quieter space, we will be able to sort out the meaning and understand what happened. However, when it’s over, it’s over – there may not be energy for looking back but rather an intention to forge ahead, put it all behind. Suppose the crisis lasts a long time.  How can you absorb this as a way of being that continues, becoming more like a fast flowing river that carries you with it?

Short of grabbing an overhanging branch or a rescue line, is it possible that there can be a way to pause and create some inner space when this is happening?  How would it be to appreciate that there is some part of you inside that is that calm, quiet space?  What can be most important is recognizing the moment when connecting to that part of you is the next step you need to take.  Not waiting until the shock or overwhelm is so great that you stop functioning.  It may feel like a kind of surrender, though it the kind that does not spell defeat.  It’s more like feeling your feet finally come into contact with the ground.

Perhaps, even from this inner space, the outcome will look the same.  Maybe there can be a softening around it, seeing it a bit differently than before.  Not that this happens in a moment; this is a process that may extend over a period of time.  You may not dive into this space, but approach the edge and step in and out.  Once you know how to get there, however, the experience is in your body and held in its memory.  And, so, for the next time – hoping there won’t be one and knowing there will – this next step of connecting to your calm, quiet inner space may be a smaller step.

 

 

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May 5, 2012 · 3:15 pm

Witness Consciousness/Conscious Witnessing

While this title seems a bit erudite and formal, the subject is intensely personal.  It’s personal in the sense that, in order to be a conscious witness for someone else, one first must be a conscious witness to oneself.  And tapping into this ability requires developing one’s own witness consciousness.  Okay, a bit of a word game happening here, but take a deep breath and allow yourself to appreciate how this might work.

First there must be something to witness in you.  This may be layers of thoughts, emotions, physical sensations or whatever is happening now for you even when you don’t know exactly what it is, when it’s not more than a felt sense in your body-mind.  Doesn’t it make sense that you would have to dive in and explore the inner caves of your self to see what’s there, so that at least you might be able to give it a name.  Naming is an important step in connecting to witness consciousness.  It needn’t be the “right” name as long as it is a name that gives some context to the feeling, thought or sensation.

All of us are familiar with the experience of noticing some irritation or disturbance just below the surface but not understanding where it’s coming from or what it’s really about.  So, it simmers, coming to a slow (or not so slow) boil, and then it’s out there in the world demanding to be seen, heard and felt.  These experiences seldom retire into the shadows and disappear – or, if they do, it’s with the intention to return at a later date – often bigger and stronger than before.

The process that allows us to name what is happening is witness consciousness.  This relatively simple act of stepping back and disengaging from what holds our attention also helps remove us from the center of the storm.  Our perspective becomes clearer.  Our awareness is focused on the issue at hand but isn’t attached to it.  We are able to appreciate the feelings, thoughts, sensations for what they are and for the fact that they are not the whole of who we are.  Then the shoulders relax and the tension in muscles dissipates, along with the sense of forward flung momentum that may also have been present.  What’s left is a clearer view of who we are, right here, right now.  From this new perspective, it can be so much easier to know what our next step needs to be.

How then to  apply this witness consciousness to the act of being a conscious witness for another person?  Perhaps the most visible way is to come from a place of knowing the truth of who you are, without attachment to your own thoughts, feelings, sensations.  In other words, show up with clear vision of what you have named for yourself so that it doesn’t create an agenda for what you might want to see or to happen for the other person.

The next time you are called to be authentically present for someone, bring awareness to your ability to say, “I can let go of wanting him to be like me or be different than he is.  I can be accepting of who he is right now.”  Then notice how it can be to offer appreciation and support as a conscious witness while standing in your own witness consciousness.

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April 3, 2012 · 8:00 pm

The Ground of Being

The Ground of Being is more than a working concept for those of us who have incorporated the practices of meditation, mindfulness and yoga into our lives.   When one has had an experience of this ground of being, it becomes an actual felt sense in one’s body and, thereafter, each visit is like returning home.  So, what is it?  How does one describe what shows up in this felt sense?  Why is it even important to consider?

I imagine the answers to these questions require an appreciation of what motivates us to do meditation and yoga.  Perhaps what draws us to these practices is an inner knowing that there is a connection to something larger than our smaller selves.  Or perhaps it’s simply that we want to explore whatever connection we have to who we really are.  That would mean setting aside the daily chronicle of words that speaks to us from inside – you know, the words that accompany every action and intention that we have throughout the day.  Because, after all, we are really much more (or less) than the thoughts and emotions that are attached to us as we take our next breath or next step.

Doesn’t it sometimes feel as if  what’s inside us is always moving, shifting from one thought or feeling to the next with almost no space in between?  What of silence?  Is there really nothing there when we are silent – or is that when the door opens even wider to let in more words, opinions, judgments and the like?  So, maybe the task before us is not so much to explore silence as to create space, take a step back so that our perspective is from a larger viewpoint.  With that action of stepping back, however subtle, a shift happens and space opens.  It may not be a lot, but just enough for us to see that our thoughts and emotions arise out of somewhere.  They are not present all the time.  There is much movement in them, even though at times the movement may seem quite circular as we are drawn back to the same issue over and over again.

So, where do they arise from?  Certainly not from nothing!  There is some ground, some sense of spacious awareness, from which all these thoughts and feelings come, take up space and then recede again.  That is the Ground of Being, the larger awareness that we all have, more or less masked by the constant filling up with words, judgments and opinions.  And while these may serve us in our day to day functioning, what might it be like to return home as it were, to the spacious awareness that is in us, that connects us with the Ground of Being in everything.  This may seem like a difficult task if looked at as a goal to get to and then reside in.  The easier path would be to carry the intention of touching it briefly, over and over again.

Remember that it’s always there, never lost.  It’s simply a matter of noticing, observing while stepping back, shifting perspective.  How amazing to realize that in the midst of all that changes, there is a connection to this larger spacious awareness!  Doesn’t that just make you want to smile…

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February 16, 2012 · 12:19 pm

Discipline – Got it or Not

It’s really amazing how one simple word can bring with it so much energy and angst!  “Discipline” is definitely one such word – one that accompanies us often from childhood all the way through to where we stand today as adults.  Ever notice the harshness in it?  Or is it simply seriousness?  Difficult to say, and of course, it depends on our first introduction to the many layers underneath the linear aspects of its ten individual letters.

I suspect that each of us has our own story – the story of our relationship to discipline.  Maybe it began at a time when you were “disciplined” as a child or were criticized for a lack of discipline.  How does this translate into your present attitude toward being disciplined in the way you approach your practice of yoga or meditation?  Does “discipline” have to mean that you show up to practice every day for a certain period of time, even that you show up in a certain way?  I’m not so sure.

It would seem that discipline generally applies to those practices which we do not embrace easily.  So, it takes some resolve to get on the mat or the cushion and then more energy to follow through with what we are there to do.    I might add that there seems some sense of obligation or doing the right thing that accompanies this resolve.  Interesting that we seldom speak of activities of love or true enjoyment by using the word “discipline.”  When I think of doing an activity that I love, there is an inner drive that pulls me toward it even when I’m not actually engaged in it.  My thoughts don’t dwell in a negative space that overflows with berating words when I haven’t done it everyday.  Perhaps this is in part because there are no “shoulds” attached to these activities – they feel much more like gifts and easy to welcome when they do happen.

How would it be to face your yoga practice or sitting in meditation as though you were accepting a most precious gift?  If you show up so that your presence is drawn there by this inner drive, there may be more excitement at what can happen during these moments ahead.  Even if you feel you are still learning technique, still developing the skills needed to feel that you are accomplished at yoga or meditating, can you be a loving presence for yourself in this practice?  Perhaps that is, in truth, the bottom line – that you show up with compassion for yourself in the doing.  Even if you are a beginner, or a beginner again, you show up as if you are about to receive a wonderful gift.

This isn’t about the work required.  A change in attitude doesn’t mean that the practice will be easy, although you can explore the possibility of being more at ease with it.  The point is that how you frame the experience will undoubtedly influence what your practice will be like.  Of course, it will be different on different days.  No point trying to introduce sameness.   But honestly, doesn’t receiving your practice as a gift feel so much more supportive to moving forward with it than a more “disciplined” approach.  I can already hear some of you saying, “But sometimes I need the kick in the ass that comes with discipline in order to get on my mat or my cushion!”  So, perhaps at times like these, what you really need is to give yourself the “kick ass” gift of compassion!

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January 6, 2012 · 7:31 pm

Facing Forward, Looking Back

Consider that you are at that moment in your life, probably one of many such moments, when you are conscious of a focus on what lies ahead of you.  I am aware of your smile as you think about how you do that almost every day.  The moment that I am speaking of is the one where you set an intention about what’s next – not necessarily with worry or apprehension or dread or even excitement, and, yes, it might actually include all those feelings.  However, what’s important about this looking ahead moment is the attitude with which you are facing forward.

Isn’t this, in fact, what you do, intentionally or otherwise, at this time of witnessing the transition to a new year?  So, how’s that going for you?  Is it all about what could have been different during the past twelve months, or is it about how you resolve that this year will be different?  There’s such a wide open space in between that sometimes it seems better to focus on what’s happening now!

So, standing at the edge of your yoga mat or sitting on your meditation cushion, take in a deeper breath – in through your nose and let it fall out of your mouth – feel your shoulders let go a bit – and settle into who you are right now.  What is ahead of you might seem like it encompasses the whole of your journey, moving toward some inner (or outer) goal.    It is possible though, to experience it as simply the next step on your journey and then whatever happens after that.  This is not to say that you don’t need a plan, but your plan may have little to do with the attitude that surfaces for you when facing forward.

Suppose that you bring to this moment, imagining what’s ahead, the strength of standing in your truth – it doesn’t have to be an astounding truth; it can be a simple truth (as most really are).  What’s significant is bringing your awareness to an opening in how you greet what’s ahead.  The image that comes to mind is standing or sitting in stillness with hands open to receive.  Isn’t that how you want to be greeting this next step on your journey?  If you are open to receive, then whatever happens next can be used, can serve you in moving forward.  You will have welcomed it without judgment or preconceived ideas about how it is supposed to be.  Then it can be a gift…

Of course, the other side of facing forward is looking back.  That can be a stuck place, full of story, where bags are weighed down with what has gone before.  So, without exploring all those past moments, perhaps it would be enough to find a place to put them, at least temporarily.  Certainly, it’s possible to find space in a closet or rent a storage locker.  You will be wanting your next step to be less encumbered; you can always retrieve later what has been set aside.

Then, see how this feels in your body – how letting go translates into lightening up and, perhaps, more energy.  It doesn’t matter that it’s not forever; what is crucial is that, at this moment, you are free to face forward with an open attitude and receive what’s next.  Happy New Year!

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November 27, 2011 · 4:13 pm

The Other Side of Gratitude

The past few days, in particular, have been alive with talk of gratitude.  There has been much intention around being thankful for what one has, with the “what” ranging from health to family and friends, a house, a job, food on the table, and objects that hold  significance for us.   Of underlying importance is the motivation to appreciate the people or things that  otherwise may be taken for granted as we move through our daily lives.   The moments of “counting our blessings” are valuable and help to shift  our view to the larger picture of what is important for us.   However, the caution to be offered is not to be content to stop at this point.  There is an even bigger perspective possible.

The question to pose is whether one can also feel gratitude for the events or relationships that are difficult, even devastating.  It’s not so easy to have warm, loving feelings when considering these situations, especially when they happen to us or someone we love.  Generally what shows up are emotions of anger and rage or the sense of being pommeled with waves of grief and despair.  How can one be with these sensations in a loving way?  How can one feel thankful?  Perhaps this seems beyond what should be asked or expected.

What is involved is not simply moving through anger and blame to be able to get to a place of forgiveness.  Such a shift already demands the letting go of one’s hold on intense thoughts and feelings surrounding the event or relationship.  How to even imagine getting to the point where one could identify “gratitude” as the sensation that is present?  If one could get to that point, how to explain being appreciative in an atmosphere where anger and grief can serve as important additives to fuel vengeful or retaliatory actions and events?

There cannot be one right way to open the door to gratitude for what tears us apart inside.  However, tools do exist that can support movement in that direction, toward a letting go of suffering.  Isn’t “suffering” the bigger name for what is happening when one is consumed by anger, rage, blame or grief?   In the midst of the storm of these emotions, there is also energy which can bring about change in moments of full, present awareness.   Being with one’s self in meditation, in movement or stillness, can bring one’s body/mind to a place of mindfulness.  In that place, one can make a choice to let go.  It may not happen right away; practice is needed.  The guidance of a trained practitioner or teacher may be helpful.    The next steps involve repeatedly going back to that place to keep the door to gratitude open.  A shift can happen from meeting life’s situations with reactivity to meeting them with receptivity.   What is truly most amazing about opening to gratitude in this way is that the reward is a taste of what it really means to be free.

To begin, one need only imagine and hold the intention that there is, in fact, a door to be opened…

 

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November 5, 2011 · 6:38 pm

Me and Mine on the Mat

The question is – When I show up on my yoga mat or my meditation cushion, in what way is this practice mine or all about me?  Not that it’s about someone else.  Of course not, but perhaps there is a way to be with this practice that can shift my attitude of possessiveness toward it.  My intention here is that it would be less about me.

One might believe that this is about playing with words, but consider the larger picture.  How might I show up for this practice so that the experience is more  “being” with than “doing?”   What comes to mind is that perhaps I can participate in the practice instead of directing it, and, in that way, I am less involved in the doing.  How would it be to step onto the mat with the intention of the practice unfolding as it needs to, in this moment and then the next?

Imagine that you don’t have to try hard or make something happen.  The perfect posture or pure meditation moments are not the ones where I’m driving the boat.  Instead, they are the ones where I get out of my own way.  And I trust that all of you know what I mean – when you show up with SERIOUS intention and, of course, expectation of what is to come of your intention.  And then, too often, it’s all about you – how balanced, how strong, how focused, how flexible!  That’s when the moment of self congratulation sneaks in and takes over, and, again, it’s all about you!  Or, perhaps, the situation goes in the other direction, and you identify how weak, how tight, how distracted, how uncomfortable.  Judgment or disappointment lands, and it’s still all about you!

What might it be like to simply BE with the practice, allowing the energy of what is unfolding to be the guiding force?  I have a very clear past memory of struggling to do a particular yoga posture,  aware of the difficulty in the moment and the focus on my breath, my muscles, my alignment, my attempts to create ease.  I was occupied with the sense of expending energy when it occurred to me that my experience could be re-framed in an opposite way.  In this new scenario (isn’t  it  always a story that we’re telling ourselves), I was  receiving energy by being in this posture.  I wasn’t doing the posture; I was being it.  At that moment, the struggle was gone.  Did the posture then look any different?  I don’t think so.  But my investment in the experience had shifted so that I wasn’t doing the pose; I was being it.

What works for you to get out of your own way?  Is it simply a shift to the present moment or a change in the story line?  Try interrupting your hold on what’s happening for you the next time you show up for yoga practice or meditation.  See how it is to allow “unfolding” to be the energy out of which your experience arises.  If it turns out to be less about you, there may be more room for being with the actual experience of practice.

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October 7, 2011 · 7:23 pm

Edge of Awareness

Suppose you are at an edge, standing at a point where moving forward feels like stepping off into the unknown yet staying where you are is increasingly uncomfortable, and, of course, moving backward isn’t even a choice.  What happens now?

Sounds like a big deal – yet we do this over and over again every day.   Mostly, however, moving forward happens within the context of what we know and what is familiar.  Driving the car, making a call, walking down the street – all these actions happen without us knowing exactly what will happen next.  We do, for the most part, have expectations based on past experiences that allow us to take up these activities with confidence or ease.  But if enough about the activity is outside our familiar set of past experiences, then the sense of the unknown surfaces.   How we meet this can range from anxious resistance to enthusiastic excitement.

Think of children for whom almost all experiences are unknown.  Would any of us have learned to walk or run if we chose staying with what is familiar?  Or if we had a lengthy internal conversation about what was about to happen next?  Unlikely!  So we all have the capacity to choose moving forward, taking the next step, even in the face of not knowing.

Consider how we meet these edges in our life situations – right now, today.  Could it be that what seems edgy to us does so because some aspect of it strikes us at our core?  How do we choose moving forward or staying when our perception of what is at stake is the sense of who we are or what our truth is?  It isn’t simply about “not knowing.”  What stirs us is the dissonance of the potential before us compared with what we think of ourselves, our idea of who we are, our self image.   Perhaps this is actually the edge of awareness.   And our choice is to explore and take the next step or hunker down and stay put.

So, what might make the difference in how we choose?  If you go back to the childhood reference, moving forward was possible then because we felt safe, accepted and had a sense that someone had our back if things didn’t go well.  Or else the motivation was that consequences of failing weren’t clear and/or the risk seemed worth it.   Or simply being curious.

How to bring some more of that curiosity into how we make choices to explore edges and step out into the unknown as who we are right now?  Can we use the tools we have and the gifts we’ve been offered?  Meditation, mindfulness techniques and yoga can support the sense of who we are and strengthen the ability to take the next step.  They can provide a safe home and make it easier to move forward.  Yoga therapy, in particular Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy, offers a unique structure for supporting this kind of exploration of the edge – one in which you can explore with safety and acceptance, with the sense of someone having your back.  What matters most in the way you meet your edges is that you get to choose – how far, how fast, even whether to go at all…

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September 26, 2011 · 6:10 pm

Holding on/Letting Go

“Letting go” is a phrase much used in the teaching and support of practices like yoga, meditation and mindfulness.  In the experience of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy, there is also support for letting go, however, there is no teaching offered that will instruct you in how to do that.   The reason being that only you, the individual “you,” can tap into what it is that keeps you from letting go.  No one else can know, but how would it be to accept a practitioner’s invitation to explore?

In order to let go, there must be some understanding of your own unique process of holding on.  You must first develop awareness of where in your body you feel the sensation of holding.  Whether the holding applies to a thought, an emotion,  a memory or a story about yourself, it is stored in the cells of your body and held there.  It is easy to believe that this holding is the way you are supposed to be – the real you.  And if the story, emotion, thought or memory is significant – in other words, if it carries a lot of weight or energy for you – then the effort of holding on will also contain much weight or energy.  It will seem that there is no foreseeable way of letting go.

We don’t as a rule hold on to something of little import or value to us, however, that doesn’t mean that we always know what the attachment really is.  Sometimes the holding comes out of a desire that our life situations or relationships be different than they are.  At those times, the energy may be more about holding back than holding on.  And still, the intention of letting go begins with asking where in your body is the locus of this holding.

You might stop where you are right now and pay attention to what’s happening with your breath.  If you notice holding, it’s not likely to be the kind of  “holding your breath til you turn blue”  – we know what that looks like.  For sure it will be much more subtle than that.  It could be that you take in less than a full breath, or you grasp at the breath and pull it out of the air as opposed to receiving it in a gentler way.  Suppose your awareness simply tells you that your breath could perhaps be different than it is.

How would it be to check in with the rest of your physical body to notice where and how holding might be happening?  Remember that it can show up in many different ways –  as a tightness in a muscle, an ache that may be felt deep inside a part of you,  a felt sense of some part not functioning the way it should, a heaviness, a weariness in your body.  You see, holding can be present in so many ways.  The discovery can happen in the naming of it.   Bringing awareness to it can then be the next step in the process of understanding whether this holding serves you anymore and then appreciating that you have a choice.

I imagine the next question you might have is how you can be certain that what you notice is “holding.”  The answer is that sometimes, in fact, you don’t know you’re holding on until you have the experience of letting go…

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September 22, 2011 · 9:37 pm

Core of Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy

It begins with the body.  It’s the physical body that is the medium, providing fertile ground  for exploring.  And “exploration” is exactly what takes place by attending to the inner experience of what is happening – moment to moment – in the body as well as in emotions, thoughts  and in the connection to what feels greater than all these put together.

You might wonder how this happens.  Essentially, it is through an amazing process of noticing sensations, memories, feelings, words and phrases, colors and images that surface as the body is moved and supported in postures and patterns.  As this occurs, the Witness (the Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy practitioner) allows the client to explore whatever is noticed, spoken or not.  While the focus of the client throughout the session is inward, the practitioner provides physical safety, active listening and an invitation to explore whatever shows up at the edge of awareness.

I want to say, “That’s all there is to it,” but one must appreciate that simplicity can only truly exist when there is a solid foundation beneath it.

At the core, Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy is a process, not a protocol or a treatment.  It is a relational process guided and supported by the practitioner in which the client interacts with himself, navigating his inner body experiences.  This way of being with a client is based on a two-fold path: one that incorporates the eight limbs of yoga, anatomy, body mechanics and verbal skills and a second that develops the skills of mindfulness, compassion, intention and appreciation for whatever happens.  The core combines both; the practitioner combines both.

Simply put, the process facilitates the client staying in the present experience of his body as he explores what’s happening now, in that moment.  It all happens for the client from the inside out – enabled by the Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy practitioner.  And while the therapy session moves forward from beginning to end, the take-away is created by the client, never prescribed or taught by the practitioner.

A Phoenix Rising Yoga Therapy practitioner is so much more than a teacher or a healer, emerging out of a process that is based on the fact that human beings have the capacity to heal themselves.  They require only fertile ground and a climate that promotes healing and change to occur.   What can happen then is truly amazing…

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